BIG ANNOUNCEMENT! Emerge is officially on a waitlist!! If you want to be informed of our next enrollment, apply here!
There’s been an INFLUX of amazing upcoming guest bookings for Tribe of Millionaires! I’m excited to deliver those to you in the coming weeks.
It’s an incredible experience to study guests and then meet them to dive into topics I’m not only interested in, but get to explore on your behalf!
Anyway, let’s talk about the lessons from one of those upcoming guests…
Sebastian Junger is a multiple time NYT best selling author - his most famous work is A Perfect Storm. Same one made into a Mark Wahlberg movie.
In more recent books, he has laid out the power of community and personal freedom as a spectrum.
His research has determined 3 things humans need to be happy: 1. We need to feel competent at work 2. We need to live authentically 3. We need to be connected to others
“If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life” – Confucius
This famous quote is on point for numbers 1 and 2. And I have to admit, neither were present in my day job.
I was high on the food chain which meant I was managed to the exception vs. my strengths. There was NO WAY I could say what I thought, or do what I felt was right .. not without making sure the political corporate machine was satisfied first.
No one is authentic in a place where you need someone else to pat you on the head to ensure you can collect another check.
This is called Factionalism - when you have to choose a side.
Often for me, that was a decision between getting on board with my company’s objectives, or being authentically me!
For 21 years, I chose against myself.
There’s nothing wrong with being aligned with company culture - in fact it’s necessary. But the ‘you do it my way’ mindset too often permeates leadership due to ego, fear or anything in between.
Let’s jump to number 3...
tribe noun 1.a social division in a traditional society consisting of families or communities linked by social, economic, religious, or blood ties, with a common culture and dialect.
We Need To Be Connected to Others .. true.
In my day job, I was connected to the wrong ‘others’.
Those that did not allow for me to grow my competence in alignment with my authenticity.
Along with ‘we need to be connected to others’ I would add ‘ that align with who we are’.
“When you like something, it’s about you. You’re more interested in what is offered TO you
When you love something, you have that person or things interests at heart; love is selfless”
People would ask me why I don’t just quit my job. I would say ‘I actually like what I do’. Which is true, and sounds virtuous - conversation over, right?
I always thought the polite smile and concession offered by the person asking was them ‘getting me’. And I was right! But what they got was the above.
My relationship with my job was ‘like’ - which meant I was in it for a paycheck and benefits - but it didn’t satisfy any of the 3 needs discussed.
I wouldn’t accept ‘like’ for anything else in my life - not to describe how I feel about my wife, kids, home. Love is the minimum standard. But for 40+ hours a week for 21 years I allowed myself to live in ‘like’.
#2: Authentic Me Is a Work in Progress
I’ll toe the line often so as not to ‘offend’. That ain’t me! Not truly me anyway.
There’s a closeted ‘anarchist meets insult comic’ inside of me. I don’t want to do what doesn’t make sense to me, and I have a quick wit and tongue when I decide to display it. Honestly, it’s quite entertaining to others that have seen it!
My recent posts about the carnivore diet are an example. Vegans have commented and messaged me - all of whom are great people. I’ve entertained the conversations cordially but trust me .. there was a desire to mail an Omaha Steak box to each house I got an email from! (The closet is opening!!)
In other words, authentic me has opinions that I’m happy to debate, discuss and even change my mind on. But now when hands are wringing and I’m flooded with all the ‘research’ as to why I’m wrong!
Closet door is almost completely open now .. watch out 😁
#3: Personal Freedom and Safety Are a Spectrum
“The more you have of one, the less you have of the other” - Sebastian Junger
I’m living an exponentially more authentic life than I did in my W2. But as shared, I still keep it at bay a bit!
This quote is the best way to describe why. Personal safety means income, financial means, the ability to pay my taxes so I have police, fire support, good roads in my community, and amenities.
My entrepreneurial struggle has been and will likely continue to be finding the right balance between ‘safety’ and displaying my ‘personal freedom’.
Relevant Links to Explore This Topic Further:
Podcast: Sam Acho - NFL veteran - Follow Your Fire 🔥