Transform Your Worst Moments Into Life-Changing Opportunities
April 11, 2023 Newsletter.
What if I told you that getting more drunk at a party is actually better than just having a few?
How about if I said it’s better to completely tear your meniscus than slightly injure your knee?
Or if having an absolute a-hole of a partner is better than one you ‘get along ok with’?
Lastly, what if I told you that having a terrible boss who threatens your livelihood frequently is better than a so-so boss that doesn’t really pay attention to you?
Let me explain:
- You may decide to drive home after drinking a few, but won’t if trashed
- You will address the injury if torn, but a slight injury lingers over time and creates more of an issue down the road
- Your so-so partner or boss means you stick around, but someone toxic creates a need to act and change your circumstances
The idea that being worse off may be better than ‘good’ or ‘ok’ is called the Region Beta Paradox.
If you LOVE something you want more of it, and if you HATE something you take action.
But many times we’re complacently stuck in the middle so no action is taken. The boss isn’t a complete dick, so I’ll tolerate this mediocre unfulfilling job in the name of ‘security’, or hope it gets better.
There was a time I said to myself and others about my boss that “I think I can outlast her”. THAT WAS MY PLAN. Live in misery on the off chance that she may decide to retire or leave before I break!
She got more and more aggressive and toxic for me, and thank God she did. She made it worse, and that created action.
Here are some keys to remember:
#1: Knowledge is Power - This may be the first time you’ve heard of this concept. If so, it gives you the ability to truly ‘embrace the suck’. Know that the terrible circumstances you are feeling are to be celebrated because it’s moving you closer to action. Awareness is the first step.
#2: Stop Craving Mediocrity - When you’re ‘in it’, you just want it to get better. But when it’s BAD, the likelihood of it moving to GREAT is low. I remember wanting marginal improvement in my situation, but the Region Beta Paradox correctly taught me that craving a ‘better’ and more mediocre situation was, paradoxically, worse than the bad situation I was in.
#3: The One Word Warning Sign - In my situation, I was getting verbally assaulted frequently by my boss. I was even given a warning within my first year in my new role simply because I had a different approach to leadership than she. The word I would use when BEGGING the universe for an improvement was ‘just’. ‘If I could just get myself to this situation, it would be better’. But ‘just’ would put me in complacency.
Gobundance offered me a way out of my situation by aligning with other driven, like-minded people. I’d highly suggest anyone reading this newsletter to explore membership.
You can join Gobundance Emerge TODAY for just $500/month with a 2 month minimum commitment. I’m making this super easy to get into because I want to remove barriers. Join us, or email me at email@example.com if you want to discuss!