Jamie Gruber Blog/Newsletter/My Lesson from Jesse Itzler - Fuck Balance!

Thursday, March 09, 2023

My Lesson from Jesse Itzler - Fuck Balance!

December 13, 2022 Newsletter.

How do you ensure you stay in balance? I get this question on every podcast and at every event I attend. Especially when I was a W2 employee. I get where it comes from and I ask it of those I view ahead of me still. In this edition, I’m sharing massive learnings I had from a week away in the US that are quickly shaping my 2023.

I would LOVE to hear from you on this - reply to this email and we’ll make sure I get them. I read EVERY one of your replies, so keep them coming!!

Before you read on, we still have room in Emerge Supercharged for our January launch. You can get started for just $1500 (full price $7500) to get into our 8 week Millionaire Accelerator with full access to the ENTIRE community. Join me and let’s make 2023 our best year yet!


I got a last minute invitation to attend the birthday party for Seth McFarlane in LA from my business partner Mark Hentemann. He’s a long time writer for Family Guy and his wife couldn’t make it. So naturally, he called me Tuesday - 14 hours away in the Dominican Republic - to hop a flight Friday. And I did it! I talked about how this upset my wife in a prior newsletter but I stayed true to who I am and I’m glad I did. It was freaking EPIC!

When I returned Monday after the party, my kids and I went out for dinner and played soccer. My wife thankfully forgave me and we had one of our best date nights and deep discussion about life and ambitions we both have.


The Quantum Capital team got together in Denver to tour 7 of our buildings and film progress for our investors. We all got an Airbnb so we could bond and brought in some of our passive investors to walk properties with us. I was able to get a videographer to follow us around and capture the updates done on each property. My role is to host and introduce other team members to our investors to build rapport with those who trust us with their capital.

I LOVE being on camera, facilitating discussion and sharing stories through my God-given gift of communication.

When I returned home Sunday on a red eye, we hit the beach as a family and I had a blast with the kids. Silvia and I again had some great discussions.


This was an aggressive agenda week with a stop in Austin for the Gobundance Tribal Council meeting, Champion event and for me personally, an on-stage interview with Jesse Itzler.

Here’s how the week looked:

Monday - Arrive in Austin at midnight CT
Tuesday - Rented a podcast studio in Austin for Tuesday and conducted 3 interviews live
Tuesday night - dinner with the Tribal Council
Wednesday - Tribal Council meeting and kick off of the Champion Event
Thursday - interview Jesse Itzler (see photo below)
Friday - wrap the Champion event and head to Orlando
Saturday - keynote at the Deed Hunter conference
Sunday - fly home (exhausted!!)

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When I got home Sunday, the family went to the beach and had an incredible day. I helped my big kid build a pyramid in the sand - completely undistracted. I played at the water’s edge with the little guy too.

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Jesse’s talk was RIDICULOUSLY good. Best keynote I’ve seen and I was sitting right next to him while he delivered it! He exuded passion and had honed his message really well. A key takeaway for me was his explanation of the ‘I coulda’ crowd. He talked about a friend who knew a football player that ‘coulda been great’. Jesse’s face was truly disgusted before saying ‘it’s not I coulda been a great speaker, no, I want to BE a great speaker’. His message was that of being obsessed - with whatever it is you’re doing.

The interview is exclusive to Gobundance and won’t be released in full to the public (for those wondering).


I was talking to my pod about 2023 after returning from Orlando. We are getting ready to discuss 2023 in a ‘vision summit’ we do annually. A 4-hour virtual event. This was our final regular pod call before the summit. In anticipation, we laid out the format and had a discussion. Our objective is to identify the three key priority areas for 2023 and a single focus. But I couldn’t/can’t get my head around three key priority areas. My accountability partner and I dove deeper on this after. My mind was stuck on three priorities. It feels like too much. Even if you focus on one thing as your primary, it feels cluttered to have three priorities laying on top of the focus.

In our discussion, I mentioned what I heard from Jesse and how it hit me because my whole body has felt like I haven’t yet been obsessed on my journey. Not fully anyway. I talked about my speaking engagement in Orlando and how much it lit me up. How I feel compelled to go all in on hitting stages in 2023. His response was logical - ‘if you’re on the road for 300 days a year and home for 65, that’s obviously not ideal’.

I have to admit - it didn’t feel ‘not ideal’. It didn’t feel like what I wanted to do either, but a pattern emerged.


If you look back at the three recent travel events I had, they all involved doing something that served my being. That gave me a feeling of significance and impact. Upon returning, I was 100% engaged with my wife and kids. I know I’m distracted all the time when I’m home working. The pattern created questions - am I best served to fill my cup even to the tune of 300 days on the road speaking at events - if my wife and kids get 65 fully focused days with me? Is this what it means to ‘fill your cup until it’s overflowing’ so that it benefits those around you?

To be clear, I don’t want to be on the road 300 days a year, but it creates an interesting question.


#1: What would happen if I redlined?

If you’re like me, you have something that you LOVE doing. Let’s just call this your ideal career - the thing you serve the world with. For me, I’m an amazing facilitator and communicator. It’s how I fulfill my purpose of ‘inspiring and motivating others to live their best life’. If the speedometer on my career maxes at 180, I rev it up to 120 or so before braking a bit to ensure I don’t leave my other priorities behind (family, health, etc). I picture it like 3 cars next to each other in a line and if I floor it on career, the family is in the dust. But what if you look at these 3 cars from a different angle and it reveals a thin string between each of these cars? If I redline the career car which has my maximum potential in it, is it possible that family and health actually improve along with it? Is that full alignment the secret to wild success and fulfillment in life? Jesse Itzler seemed to say so. And I see it with others in my life as I reflect on this premise. I’ve never redlined - maybe it’s time! To be clear, this doesn’t mean work harder - quite the contrary. It means positioning myself to be FULLY in my gifts with everything I do. It means truly empowering a team around me. It means letting go of some paychecks on the belief that if I fully align with who I am that the financial support for my family will come.

#2: Values Matter

I value family and I value my health. If I redline as stated above, I slip into flow. In a flow state, the things you value enhance. An example is Elon Musk. I don’t know him, but my observation is his values include changing the world, free speech and massive influence. I don’t think family is of high value to him which is evidenced by his past relationships. Contrast him with Tony Robbins. He also values changing the world in his way but also values his relationships. He may be less inclined to value his health based on how physically exhaustive his stage presence and time is. The point is, if I choose to redline in 2023 my theory or working thesis is clarity on core values determine what benefits from going all in on me.

#3: ‘Coulda been’ As A Guidance System

I love Jesse’s point about ‘coulda been’. To embed the things I value in 2023, I see using ‘coulda been’ with my core values. I refuse to be a ‘coulda been’ as a husband, as a father, in my health. I refuse to be a ‘coulda been’ with actualizing the highest and best version of myself..

#4: What Would You Die Doing?

In Austin, I talked to a friend that knows Tony Robbins and has been in his world for some time. He mentioned how Tony’s health is clearly not what it was but said ‘he’ll die on that stage’. He will DIE on that stage!! It prompts a question - what would you die doing? This is a tough question for me and probably all of you. And there are cop out responses like ‘I’d die for my kids’ - of course you would! But that’s not the point of the exercise. This is about you or me. What is the action, aligned with your purpose, that you would DIE doing? If you and I can find that, look out world!

CALL TO ACTION: Screenshot the key takeaway that landed for you and tag me in a story on Instagram so I can see what’s working for you.


Tribe of Millionaires Podcast Episode
✯ This isn’t an actual episode, and I know many of you are dying for the Jesse Itzler interview. It won’t be published as I noted above, but here’s a snippet as a reel that is jam packed with great advice!

A Podcast/Book I Love
✯ One of the interviews I did this past week was with a guy named Garrain Jones. He has an insane story and his episode will come out soon. Until then, read his book Change Your Mindset, Change Your Life. From being put in a dryer as a 4 year old, to the murder of his father at 12, a 2 year stint in a French Prison and eventually to a starring role in a Beyonce video, this guy has 100 years of wisdom packed in a 42 year old body!

Lesson from Living Abroad
✯ Being around my in-laws here in the DR, there’s clearly a conversation distribution. 67% of all discussions are about food. 7% are about God/church. The remaining 26% is talking shit about others 😄

Shit I Find Funny
These birds are RELENTLESS!!!!

If you’re not already in Emerge and Ascend and want to be part of our Emerge Supercharged relaunch in 2023, join the waitlist here!! The objective is to get you unstuck, clear on vision and goals, and provide a concierge level experience to introduce you to your future self!

Until next week

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